To the world a baby - To us the world
Briefly in our lives - forever in our hearts
This memorial website was created in the memory of our beautiful darling son, Ryan Jayden Smith who was born sleeping at simpsons Edinburgh on January 13, 2007 @ 1533hrs
Ryan weighed 5lb 1 1/2oz and was 51cm long, he had lots and lots of silky black hair, long fingers and big feet and looked like his big brother Robbie
Our darling precious Son who touched
so many lives in such a short time
We said goodbye at Mortonhall Crematorium on January 22, 2007
We will remember ryan forever, night night sweetheart.
Do you see my daddy?
Do u see my daddy?
Do you see him really?
Do u see him dying inside?
For the child he loved so dearly?
Or do you see him being strong?
An arm around my mummy,
do you see him cry at night?
Or is he trying to be funny?
He has to be the man,
hold tight onto the tears,
he cant show you or anybody,
his deepest darkest fears.
He has to put on the brave face?
So everything seem fine!
But trust me deep inside him,
he's crying all the time.
He wanted to teach me football,
play fight on the floor,
he wanted to carry me in his arms,
to show off and adore.
Instead he felt so useless,
as he sat by mummies side,
as she pushed me into the world,
and everyone but me cried.
So don't think he's not hurting,
and don't think it is wrong,
to give him a gentle cuddle,
tell him he don't need to be strong.
Let him cry on your shoulder,
because my daddy is hurting too,
everyone cuddles my mummy,
my daddy don't know what to do!!
If i could id kiss him,
and say,'' hey i look like you,''
i love my daddy so dearly,
remember he's a parent too.
His mates think he's still one of the lads,
great,, good fun ,still him,
sending their love to my mummy,
he wink at them and grin.
But in his soul he's dying,
a missing piece is gone,
what about my daddy?
He didn't do anything wrong!
Don't treat him like a leper,
or without the softer touch.
Remember to treat them both the same,
for he loved me just as much.
Do you see my mummy?
If u see my mummy,
please hold her tight for me,
cuz even tho shes smiling,
her pains not easy to see.
Shes hidden it deep inside her,
a smile upon her face,
so u don't feel uncomfortable,
or put in an awkward place.
She will laugh n she will smile,
sound normal on the phone,
but deep inside shes screaming,
''help me i'm sooo alone''
i can hear also her bother,
cuz its screaming from her heart,
she dosn't know y this happened,
why we had to part.
shes all mixed up inside her,
her body is filled with pain,
please someone help my mummy,
before she go insane.
Just talk about me to her,
don't think that the pain has gone,
that she should be over me,
for ber pain will go on and on.
She held me in her body,
then held me in her arm,
she wanted to look after me ,
and keep me away from harm.
But she feel in a way,
that she let me down,
and i cant reassure her,
that i am always around.
I want to hug her tightly,
and take away her pain,
but i cant do that from here,
wait until we together again.
So if you see my mummy,
don't say uve been through worse,
don't say oh she will get over me,
i am not a lost purse!
I am and always will be,
the baby that she bore,
and even tho u loved me,
my mummy loved me more.
Don't compare me to a lost dog,
or a granddad or a nan,
she will help u with u're worries,
if she feel she can.
Don't expect to much from her,
its her child that she misses
shes like a china doll inside,
could crack up into pieces,
so hold her please so gently,
tell her not to be afraid to cry,
and listen to her go on and on,
why oh why oh why.?
Shes not the person you once knew,
yes shes changed alot,
one day her smile maybe genuine,
one day it maybe not.
So please let me rest peacefully,
i wont until u know,
that my mummy need your support,
not that silly look of so??
That as i never breathed,
i wasn't really real,
that its harder to have memories,
how do u think that make her feel?
cCuz we have many memories,
you weren't lucky enough to share,
daddy carried me in my coffin,
mummy carries my lock of hair.
I wenrn't a summit that happen!!
Or a thing that was meant to be,
she carried me past the maybe stages,
she then gave birth to me.
So if you see my mummy,
give her a gentle squeeze,
don't tell her what i've told u,
she wont be too pleased.
She likes to think its private,
the pain is not being shown
but it is there believe me,
she is feeling so alone.
Thankyou all for listening,
i'm glad i got to say,
tho u don't know me like mummy,
trust me ,you will one day!
A Poem for my Mummy
A kiss to you on mothers day
A hug from me to you
I know that you are sad sometimes
I know that you are blue
Please wipe away that tear
put on a happy face
For I'm with god in heaven now
Oh Mummy what a wonderful place
God gave me wings so i could fly
they are white with a hint of blue
I'm a big boy mummy, with these wings of mine
they carry me down to visit you
God is teaching me how to catch your prayers
prayers that come as wishes
your wish is the same everyday
a wish that i could have stayed
I have a prayer for you now mummy
i pray that you will hear
god needed me here with him
i have no pain or fear
For i am an Angel now you see
i watch over you each night and day
a little piece of heaven on earth
guiding you on your way
I come to tuck you in each night
as you wanted to do with me
i hear your prayers and kiss your cheek
then i watch you dream
before i leave and go back home
i look at you and sigh
and as i fly back to heaven
i sing you a lull-a-bye
A kiss to you on mothers day
a hug from me to you
i love you mummy, please don't cry
You'll get to hold me soon.
As Long As I Live You Will Live
As Long As I Live You Will Be Remembered
As Long As I Live You Will Be Loved..
A Child that loses a parent is an orphan,
A Man who loses his wife is a widower,
A Woman who loses her husband is a widow,
However, there is no name for a parent that loses a child,
For there is no word to describe such pain.
If Roses grow in Heaven,
Lord please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my Son's arms
and tell him they're from me.
Tell him I love him and miss him,
and when he turns to smile,
place a kiss upon his cheek
and hold him for awhile.
Because remembering him is easy,
I do it every day,
but there's an ache within my heart
that will never go away.
I wish very much that you could understand ~ understand my loss and
my grief, my silence and my tears, my void and my pain.
But, I pray daily that you will never understand
This poem was read at Ryan's service
Rock him gently, Lord.
Ryan our son.
Rock him gently till our time comes.
Stroke him softly, with all our love,
Bring him our prayers on the wings of a dove.
Sing to him quietly and ease all our fears,
Rock him gently, Lord, our precious little dear.
Easter Sunday 8 th of April
Ryan, on easter sunday there was a charity football game in which Daddy had been playing in for the last 2 years. Last year the game was played at Tynecastle and this year it was played at Easter Road the teams are Hearts and Hibs the Rivals which is played by Hearts and Hibs fans and they all come together to raise money for Simpsons Sick Babies, everyone who was involved in raising the money raised £10,000.
They kindly played in name of you, Ryan. This was such an emotional day for everyone and daddy was also captain, hibs did win.
We light candles in the kitchen beside ur photos everynight
Robbie and ur picture in the corner
Daddy and Robbie on holiday
Xmas 07 during the day
Xmas 07 at night time
Happy 1st birthday sweetheart
Ryans 2nd birthday